Exaggerated college application

Every day I decide the weather. Every day I have tea with god.  Every day I meet with the deceased. Every day I am worshipped.

I save a minimum of 10 puppies per hour. I have given myself brain surgery multiple times. I gave US president Barack Obama his authority. I have won the last three arguments with my mother. I exhale oxygen. I taught my English teacher how to punctuate. When I was four years old, I put Chuck Norris in the hospital. I am older than Jeanne Louise Calment. Last month I beat Hank Chien’s record in Donkey Kong. I taught my dad his first word. I conqured the Titan IQ test and finshed with an unbelievable unbeatable score. I dont urinate.

I wrote the first 10 languages. I am faster than Usain Bolt. I murdered Hitler.  My peers envy me.  My parents wish to clone me.  My siblings adore me. My brilliance has made me famous. My brilliance has made me the most successful female of the decade.  My brilliance has enlightened the lives of hospital patients. I don’t sleep.

I make Alzheimer victims remember. I can make cupid fall in love. My existence cures cancer. My existence prevents war. My existence is the reason behind world peace. I save lives. My second cousin is Buddha. I bake cakes ten times better than Buddy Valastro. I’ve won a taste test against Gordon Ramsey. I purchased Dragon's Den.
 
I have done amazing things and become an increible individual but have not gone to college.

                                                                                                            The unavoidable

My thoughts begin to fill my head, a bathtub overflowing from the faucet I call my brain, trying my hardest not to forget a single lesson I was taught over the last 3 months. Shaking from the inner crevices of my torso; my extremities losing all sense of warmth they once possessed. The voices of my peers become murmurs; blurred and distant, as though I forget the English language. I try to curl my lips into a simple yet forced smile as my English teacher walks past me, trying to convince not only him but also myself, that I am ready. There is a great possibility that I did hear it, but missed to interpret the announcement over the PA system, although I gather it was time to motion my way towards the awfully uninviting Hell’s gates. Classmates unsurely look at each other and pick up their textbooks for the final time. We exchange glances ten times over before the bravest of them all takes the first step into the corral, our gymnasium. The air is much cooler than usual, bitter and sharp yet unexpectedly refreshing. As I struggle to find my name, I start to feel my senses heighten. I see the faint words through the flipped over booklet. I smell pen ink and the tangy essence of an energy drink from the boy sitting across from me as I inhale deeply trying to stay relaxed. I taste the bitterness of the vomit I try to choke down for the third time. I hear someone scrambling through their pencil case, trying to find the brand new, unopened white eraser they had kept all year until this very moment. I feel the warmth of the air of whoever was breathing heavily behind me and the hairs on my neck stand up as shocking shivers slide down my spine. The uneven wooden desk was cool and smooth with a single gash where someone must have impaled a pen. My legs were crossed and my posture was impeccable. The strongest feeling of all was the anxious nervousness that enlightened every single nerve. I feel queasy, as if the words spilling out of the supervising teacher intoxicated my organs. I prepared the best I possibly could; day and night for weeks but this exam would determine which school if any school I would get in to and the next 80 minutes would set out the path for my future that is what I feared most. I became too dependent on excuses, excuses which could not be used on this day. I came to realization that there was no second chance, there was no re-do, and there was no getting out of this one. Completing this final exam was unavoidable.