The unavoidable

My thoughts begin to fill my head, a bathtub overflowing from the faucet I call my brain, trying my hardest not to forget a single lesson I was taught over the last 3 months. Shaking from the inner crevices of my torso; my extremities losing all sense of warmth they once possessed. The voices of my peers become murmurs; blurred and distant, as though I forget the English language. I try to curl my lips into a simple yet forced smile as my English teacher walks past me, trying to convince not only him but also myself, that I am ready. There is a great possibility that I did hear it, but missed to interpret the announcement over the PA system, although I gather it was time to motion my way towards the awfully uninviting Hell’s gates. Classmates unsurely look at each other and pick up their textbooks for the final time. We exchange glances ten times over before the bravest of them all takes the first step into the corral, our gymnasium. The air is much cooler than usual, bitter and sharp yet unexpectedly refreshing. As I struggle to find my name, I start to feel my senses heighten. I see the faint words through the flipped over booklet. I smell pen ink and the tangy essence of an energy drink from the boy sitting across from me as I inhale deeply trying to stay relaxed. I taste the bitterness of the vomit I try to choke down for the third time. I hear someone scrambling through their pencil case, trying to find the brand new, unopened white eraser they had kept all year until this very moment. I feel the warmth of the air of whoever was breathing heavily behind me and the hairs on my neck stand up as shocking shivers slide down my spine. The uneven wooden desk was cool and smooth with a single gash where someone must have impaled a pen. My legs were crossed and my posture was impeccable. The strongest feeling of all was the anxious nervousness that enlightened every single nerve. I feel queasy, as if the words spilling out of the supervising teacher intoxicated my organs. I prepared the best I possibly could; day and night for weeks but this exam would determine which school if any school I would get in to and the next 80 minutes would set out the path for my future that is what I feared most. I became too dependent on excuses, excuses which could not be used on this day. I came to realization that there was no second chance, there was no re-do, and there was no getting out of this one. Completing this final exam was unavoidable.